Here are a few comments on understanding engineers. I will tell you that an engineer sent them to me.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/span>U<\/span>nderstanding Engineers: One<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Understanding Engineers: Four<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here are a few comments on understanding engineers. I will tell you that an engineer sent them to me. \u00a0Understanding Engineers: One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own … Continue reading What is wrong with engineers?<\/span>
\nTwo engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
\nThe second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
\nThe first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”<\/span><\/p>\n
\nUnderstanding Engineers: Two<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n
\nTo the optimist, the glass is half-full.
\nTo the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
\nTo the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\nUnderstanding Engineers: Three<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n
\nA priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
\nThe engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”
\nThe doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
\nThe priest said, “Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”
\nHe said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
\nThe green-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
\nThe group fell silent for a moment.
\nThe priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
\nThe doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
\nThe engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?” <\/span><\/p>\n
\nWhat is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
\nMechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nUnderstanding Engineers: Five<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n
\nThe graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
\nThe graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
\nThe graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
\nThe graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?” <\/span><\/p>\n
\nUnderstanding Engineers: Six<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n
\nThree engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
\nOne said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
\nAnother said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”
\nThe last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
\n<\/span><\/p>\n
\nUnderstanding Engineers: Seven<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n
\nNormal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
\nEngineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n
\nUnderstanding Engineers: Eight<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n
\nAn engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
\nHe bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
\nThe frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.”
\nAgain, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
\nFinally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
\nThe engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.” <\/span><\/p>\n