{"id":61,"date":"2008-09-23T22:26:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-24T03:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/?p=61"},"modified":"2008-09-23T22:26:00","modified_gmt":"2008-09-24T03:26:00","slug":"the-illegal-operation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/2008\/09\/23\/the-illegal-operation\/","title":{"rendered":"The Illegal Operation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nerd poetry! This is what happened when I was forced to parody The Raven<\/em> by Edgar Allan Poe.<\/p>\n

(Yes, it’s long, but it’s worth it. Really.)<\/p>\n

Once upon a schoolnight dreary, while I worked, bored and weary,
\nOn many a long and arduous paper of the English kind,
\nWhile I toiled, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a beeping,
\nAs of some device slowly losing, losing its electronic mind.
\n\u201c\u2019Tis but a battery,\u201d I muttered, \u201cneeding a replacement of its kind \u2013
\nNothing more, I hope to find.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the late of night,
\nAnd each separate keystroke rang out like a silenced gunshot.
\nEagerly I wished the morrow; \u2013 vainly I had sought to delay
\nThe completion of my work \u2013 work I could afford not
\nTo lose, work whose final completion I had sought
\nA whole lot.<\/p>\n

And the cold heartless beeping of the unknown gizmo
\nScared me \u2013 scared me with its beeping, insistent and unkind,
\nSo that now, to ease my nervous mind, I sat repeating,
\n\u201c\u2019Tis but a battery, only a battery, needing a replacement of its kind \u2013
\nAn old battery needing a replacement of its kind \u2013
\nNothing more, I hope to find.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now I looked about in search of the insistent beeping,
\nWith each passing moment my mind filling with terror;
\nTerror that the beeping may not be trivial,
\nTerror that the error\u2019s wearer
\nCould be the cruel bearer
\nOf a fatal error.<\/p>\n

I cautiously looked about the debris-strewn floor
\nTo find this beeper, to find its hidden location
\nAnd suddenly I saw it; I saw what I had hoped not to admit \u2013
\nA computer, my computer, the source of all my frustration,
\nAnd I saw on its screen a message that caused a curious sensation:
\n\u201cIllegal operation.\u201d<\/p>\n

I suddenly felt quite faint, as though I had inhaled paint;
\nI fervently prayed this was but a mere aberration,
\nThat my hard work, my essay, had not just seen its final day;
\nBut alas, it was lost, by an act of electronic constipation,
\nBy my computer\u2019s ceaseless and mindless oration:
\n\u201cIllegal operation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d, I cried, \u201cyou fiend! I was nearly done when you intervened!\u201d
\nI was filled with sorrow \u2013 there was a great emotional tribulation;
\nPoetry is not easy, The Raven<\/em> less so,
\nAnd now it was all lost in the electronic devastation \u2013
\nThe fatal aberration \u2013 of my computer\u2019s
\nIllegal operation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nerd poetry! This is what happened when I was forced to parody The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. (Yes, it’s long, but it’s worth it. Really.) Once upon a schoolnight dreary, while I worked, bored and weary, On many a long and arduous paper of the English kind, While I toiled, nearly sleeping, suddenly there…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[43,45,46,56],"class_list":["post-61","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun-stuff","tag-parody","tag-poem","tag-poetry","tag-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=61"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=61"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=61"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/capn\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=61"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}