Taking Swansont’s lead, I’m declaring an annual Talk Like a Biologist Day. As far as I know, there is no such day already, so I’m going to take the initiative in saying that there needs be one.  The date is as yet to be determined, but some possibilities are April 22nd (Earth Day) and July 18th (birthday of Robert Hooke, discoverer of the cell).  Leave a comment if you like one of these two dates, or you would like to propose a different one.  This is a collaborative work in progress, so don’t be shy.

So in order to talk like a biologist, you’ll need to become familiar with the jargon and how to use it in every day situations. Allow me to provide some examples and feel free to add your own.

Is something distracting you from getting your work done on time? Don’t worry, it’s not your fault, it’s just due to an “allosteric interaction.”

Any type of regular route is a “pathway.”

Don’t talk about how someone looks, but you should discuss their “phenotype.”

Tough day at the office? If you snap at your co-workers, blame it on negative “environmental stimuli”

If something is happening here, it’s “autonomic.” Far away is “somatic.”

Murdered your child in a fit of frustration? Don’t worry, just pass it off as “strategic infanticide.”

Don’t pick out your outfit this evening, “apply selection pressures” to your wardrobe.

You’re not over the hill, you’re just in the ’stationary phase’ of your growth.

Trying to leave work early? Tell your boss that due to the “high concentration” of employees, you’re “diffusing” out of the building and that attempting to stay would be “energetically unfavorable.”

Put “saccharides” in your coffee.

Try to “replicate your design information” with your significant other tonight.

While your at it, assure them that s/he has your “striated involuntary cardiac muscle tissue.’

Don’t touch anything today, but “probe” with your “receptors.”

Refer to household pets by using their binomial nomenclature, and don’t forget to refer to yourself as a “taxonomist.”

If you happen to be stacking objects today, make sure everyone knows that its a “nested hierarchy.”

Don’t forget to take it easy today. On Talk Like a Biologist Day, its important to “maintain homeostasis.”

This entry was posted on Friday, March 21st, 2008 at 10:16 am and is filed under evolution, humor, link out, microbiology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.