{"id":2117,"date":"2009-04-09T08:29:30","date_gmt":"2009-04-09T13:29:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/?p=2117"},"modified":"2009-04-09T08:29:30","modified_gmt":"2009-04-09T13:29:30","slug":"important-physics-public-service-announcement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/archives\/2117","title":{"rendered":"Important Physics Public Service Announcement"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ten things to do <a href=\"http:\/\/www.themorningnews.org\/archives\/spoofs_satire\/in_the_event_that_you_have_accidentally_swallowed_the_higgs_boson.php\">In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson<\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>6. If the Higgs boson begins creating mass in your esophagus or stomach before you reach a hospital, you will need to perform an immediate bosonectomy on yourself. Luckily, surgical knowledge is not necessary. Just choose from the array of probable outcomes that will manifest themselves upon your decision to perform surgery, and make the one most favourable to yourself into reality. Be sensible\u2014do not wait for the outcome in which you successfully remove the boson <em>and<\/em> win the lottery <em>and<\/em> grow wings.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Bosonectomies aren&#8217;t nearly as complicated as the corresponding operation, a Fermiplasty.  The Pauli exclusion principle applies to the latter, so a hospital can only treat one patient at a time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ten things to do In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson 6. If the Higgs boson begins creating mass in your esophagus or stomach before you reach a hospital, you will need to perform an immediate &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/archives\/2117\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,39,44],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-physics","category-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2117\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.scienceforums.net\/swansont\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}