By Ira Mark Egdall
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
– Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
We live in a world of euphemisms — words or phrases respun to make them sound less offensive.
Fried food bad? Change the name to KFC. Nobody’ll remember that it stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken. Big Mac’s are selling, but fried chicken not so much? Call it crispy chicken. What’s the difference? Ah, none.
Filthy rich? Nasty label. (Wish I was one.) The Republican term is job creators. God forbid we raise taxes on job creators. Oh, excuse me, taxes is also an ugly word. So Democrats refer to them as revenue enhancements. My ever shrinking wallet must be enhancing somebody’s revenue.
If I die in the hospital, it’s a negative patient care outcome. Has such a lovely ring to it. Oh really? I’m still dead! A toilet is a rest room. When’s the last time you took a nap in one. (Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.)
Even science has joined the club. Global warming? Too controversial. Proselytized by Al Gore — must be another big-government conspiracy. Let’s call it climate change. So much better. As though nature cares what we call it. The science still works the same. (Which is too bad for us, because we don’t seem to be doing much about it.)
I think I’ll put on my personal flotation device, get my full-figured body into my previously-owned vehicle, and drive off into the sunset!
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