I was sorting through some email (searching for some old tidbit) and ran across a few chuckle-inducing transmissions I had saved. Someone who used to sort the mail ages ago was a few quarks short of the standard model, and these are some email inquiries we got as the person attempted to track down an unknown recipient.

I am in receipt of mail for a Verenigde Staten and xxx xxx. If anyone knows these people please let me know

“Verenigde Staten” is Dutch for “United States”

I am in receipt of mail for Provost Marshal. Does anyone know this person? Thank you.

Ah, my good buddy Provost. Hey, Pro, how’s it going? Or was that supposed to be Provost, Marshal?

Does anyone know a Beale Cypher Crew? Thank you.

The Beale cyphers/ciphers are a famous set of encoded documents of questionable authenticity, purporting to tell the location of buried treasure. I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a decoding effort operating at work.

(I was tempted to ask a friend to send mail to Hugh Jass, or some Moe’s-prank equivalent, in order to induce more of these emails, but I never did)