Swans on Tea

Annoy and upset in ten (expensive) moves

Sex
Once you’re having carnal relations with someone it’s a fair assumption that you already approve of each other to a high degree. Don’t let that fool you into believing there is no room left for upset. There is a little known companion volume to the Karma Sutra which lists the 1001 ways you can upset someone in bed. The use of the adjectives ’small’ or ‘quick’ or ‘disappointing’ are almost guaranteed to cause offence especially when all used together. As quite a lot of sex tends to be small and quick and disappointing the best way to avoid upset is to use the phrase ‘that took me to somewhere I’ve never been before’ without of course being specific about the exact place and whether or not it was worth visiting.