Experimental Error: Fetus Don’t Fail Me Now

I don’t know how other prospective fathers treat their wives’ pregnancies, but I saw it as a science project. It had a protocol, parameters, a timeline, and even the one item that makes funding agencies happy: a deliverable. I found myself poking at my wife’s abdomen, asking, “Who’s Daddy’s little gestating blastocyst? Who’s recapitulating phylogeny?” If I had published the results in a peer-reviewed journal, the article would have looked like this

There’s some good “talk like a scientist” example in there. Oh, wait: the written sample contains jargon that can be classified as scientific in origin within experimental error.