BREAKING: Popeye Admits To Spinach Use

“I wish I had never touched spinach,” Popeye said in a statement. “It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never sailed during the spinach era.”

Popeye also used broccoli, a person close to Popeye said, speaking on condition of anonymity because Popeye didn’t include that detail in his statement.

If the other allegations are true, this certainly explains the Tasmanian Devil’s ‘roid rage episodes.