Swans on Tea

Anyone who doesn’t get why this is considered a ‘wireless’ device.
Everyday Scientist: wireless memo book
You’ll notice that if you flip through it fast enough, it even plays movies.

A risk you run with in the digital age is that if you do something stupid, it will almost certainly be recorded in a quasi-permanent way, in contrast to the ephemeral nature of a spoken conversation. You don’t even have the “I was misquoted” excuse when you’ve removed the human being from the equation. [...]

John Hodgman at Radio & TV Correspondents’ Dinner
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Anti-Terrorist Fantasy Dream Team on the Case
“I believe a fictional threat is best met with decisive fictional force,” explained President Obama. “Jack Bauer and Wolverine are among the very best we have when in comes to combating fantasy foes.” Mr. Bauer said, “We’re quite certain that our prisons are secure. Osama bin Laden and his [...]

The Onion: NASA Embarks On Epic Delay
Top officials at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration unveiled plans this week for a comprehensive, multibillion-dollar delay—the agency’s most ambitious postponement of cosmic exploration ever.
The unprecedented delay has reportedly brought together the nation’s foremost aerospace engineers, whose combined efforts have already added 18 months of rescheduled meetings [...]

The Onion: Roster-Depleted Bears Sign Tire Swing For Cutler To Throw To
Analysts say that, while the move is somewhat unorthodox, Chicago was prudent in passing on veteran free agents Amani Toomer and Joe Jurevicius in favor of offering the tire swing a 3-year, $2.4 million contract.
I have Cutler on my Fantasy team, and [...]

Ten things to do In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson
6. If the Higgs boson begins creating mass in your esophagus or stomach before you reach a hospital, you will need to perform an immediate bosonectomy on yourself. Luckily, surgical knowledge is not necessary. Just choose from the array of probable [...]

Dr Bunsen Honeydew- Gorilla Detector
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I know, scientifically, that I am not being eaten by a gorilla!

Sasha Obama Keeps Seeing Creepy Bush Twins While Riding Tricycle Through White House
According to White House security documents, Sasha told Secret Service agents that the ghostly twins spoke to her in unison and repeatedly beckoned her by chanting the phrases “come play with us,” “come play with us, forever,” and “Daddy’s making fajitas.”
White House officials, [...]

Imagine you are a teacher, giving tests over the course of several years. Even though you mention other behavior that is forbidden, for a long time you never tell your students that copying from a crib sheet, or another student, is wrong. It’s never listed as being against the rules. You leave [...]

Brett Favre retires for record 18th time.
Or it seems that way, at least.

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