To All of My Fan(s)

Look Closely, Doctor: See the Camera?

The Truman show delusion, as well as other related modern-era afflictions.

One of Dr. Gold’s patients told him, “My family and everyone I knew were actors in a script, a charade whose entire purpose is to make me the focus of the world’s attention.”

Another patient traveled to New York City and showed up at a federal building in downtown Manhattan seeking asylum so he could get off his reality show, Dr. Gold said.

The patient reported that he also came to New York to see if the Twin Towers were still standing, because he believed that seeing their destruction on Sept. 11 on television was part of his reality show. If they were still standing, he said, then he would know that the terrorist attack was all part of the script.

I suffer from no such delusion, because

1. My blog would be enough to show any would-be exec that a reality show based on my life would not be economically viable, i.e. my reality show is probably pre-canceled

2. I think I have the kind of friends that would tell me if such a show existed.

3. Even if such a show were to actually exist, the existence of a production company would shield me from lawsuits exacting payment for boring people to death, so I wouldn’t stress out over it.