Let's Get That LHC Running Already

15 uses for micro black holes

Use 10: Hang posters without tacks
Attention college students! Did you know that tacking posters to the wall of your dorm room can result in fines and loss of security deposits? Well, with mini-black holes, pin-holes and spackle patches are a thing of the past. Place tiny black holes on the wall, press your Zodiac Lovers poster on the wall until it is firmly fastened, and enjoy the results with all your friends. Unlike other fasteners, these won’t peel off in hot or cold temperatures, they will keep your posters where they belong. At the end of the year, simply tear down your posters. And if a do-gooder resident assistant tries to inspect the holes on your wall, just stand back, light up a joint, and watch as they are sucked into another dimension.

Note that I don’t actually advocate the use of illegal controlled substances, like micro black holes.