Cap’n Refsmmat’s Blog of Doom

It’s easy if you try.

Yes, I’ve been up to no good again. Together with my band, now named The Quirk Side of the Moon, I’ve created yet another parody song, this time of John Lennon’s Imagine.

Imagine you were in a world with no math…

I’ve often blogged (click the words to see my previous posts) about education in the past. As I am a high school student, it’s a topic that’s rather close to my heart.

I recently came across a like-minded blog post that spurred me into action. I’m a student: I can easily talk to dozens of teachers and students to get their opinions on the state of our education system. At the same time, I’m a website administrator: I can easily set up a website to spread my message.

These two facts collided shortly after I read the aforementioned blog entry. The Web is an amazing place to spread ideas and coordinate a grass-roots movement, so, why not? Assuming nobody’s done it before (tough assumption on the Internet), I think I have a new website to start.

What’ll it do? A variety of things, really. I think the key point will be to collect all of these ideas espoused in blog posts and personal websites into one neat and concise resource for students and teachers to read, then start spreading this around to teachers. If you’d like to help, or you know a blog post that has some helpful ideas, post a comment.

You often hear phrases such as “blind as a bat” or “soft as silk,” but nobody has ever attempted to define all these units. So I will. Here’s my list of informal units:

• Loons of craziness
• Silks of softness
• Bats of blindness
• Buttons of cuteness. This scale is logarithmic to allow for extremely low cutenesses.
• Helens of beauty. You know, Helen of Troy, “the face that launched a thousand ships.” (This means that one milliHelen is defined as the beauty required to launch one ship.”
• Pies of easiness. (Alternate units include “as easy as 1-2-3″ and “as easy as 2 plus 2″.)
• Hatters of madness/insanity.
• Dogs of sickness.
• Mules of stubbornness.
• Lambs of gentleness.
• Fiddles of fitness.
• Long-tailed cats near a rocking chair of nervousness.
• Greased lightnings of speed.
• Posts of deafness.
• Doornails of deadness.
• Rocks of dumbness.
• Tree trunks of thickness.
• Clams of happiness.
• Beets of redness.
• Turtles of social awkwardness.
• “Hell” forms an interesting wildcard unit — things can be “hot as hell”, “loud as hell”, “crazy as hell”, and so on.

Suggestions for calibrations for the units are welcome.