I’m shocked, shocked, to find that I’m getting shocked. My adventures with static electricity.

It’s winter, it’s dry and that makes for pretty good sparks. I haven’t been going to the gym the last few mornings (recovering from being unwell) but have been going to work, so that means peeling off some layers of cotton clothing in the dark. And that means some static electricity. I must roll around a lot in my sleep or something, because there are a lot of sparks a-flyin’ when I take my socks off, and also my sweatshirt. I used to have a blanket (when i was about 10) that would spark nicely if I covered myself and did a bicycle motion while on my back, so my stocking feet continually rubbed on the blanket; since I was covered it was dark, and there were lots of sparks. Slippers on the carpet were always good for sister-annoyance, too, back then. Or just scuffling along holding a fluorescent bulb and watching it flash occasionally, if you could find a dark room.

At the lab, I’m the one who usually peels off the sticky mats in the lab area. (I must have the lowest threshold of being bothered by them being dirty, partially conditioned by being the one who had to clean the optics before we transitioned to semi-sealed modular systems with lots of connecting fiber). Big, big zaps with those. You can get a similar result if you ever buy plexiglass that’s encased in plastic wrap. I bought some big ones (72″ x 40″ to cover some hallway posters near my office), and there were some packing peanut scraps nearby. Once you charge those puppies up, there are some styrofoam pieces that have a huge charge/mass ratio, and simply will not leave your hands until you’ve thoroughly discharged yourself. I had one that was just on the threshold, so when I flicked it off my hand, it would separate a little bit, but not far enough for the gravitational force to be larger than the attractive electrostatic force, so it would float back. Minutes of geeky fun.

For Christmas I got a shirt that’s made of teflon. Partially, at least. The instructions say not to use a dryer sheet with it and this shirt tumbling in the hot dryness really generates the static. And boy does it cling. The first time in the dryer it picked up some serious lint, and I had trouble picking it off because of the amount of charge — I pulled a small piece of string off of it, and when I tried to drop it in the trash can, letting it go about a foot away from the shirt, it flew back to the shirt. More minutes of geeky fun with that. I hesitate to admit that recently when I was ironing and generating some static charge, I empirically reminded myself that the ironing-board pad does not cover the edge of the ironing board, which is just below waist-level. I experienced a dramatic lowering of the potential difference between the ironing board and me, via the part of me closest to the exposed metal. (If you can’t paint a mental image of this, tough. I won’t draw you a diagram).