Category Archives: Humor

More 'I'm Not Making This Up'

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Playmobil Security Check Point

As with the BIC ballpoint pen, the true gold is in the reviews.

I will never need to buy toothpaste again thanks to Playmobil. Not realizing this was a toy I purchased it to prepare for my interview as a TSA agent. Needless to say I aced it and have been happily viewing xrays of carry-on luggage and shoes ever since. As noted above, the free toothpaste is just icing on the cake – never expected a free lifetime supply, but who’s complaining. This is a “must-have” for any aspiring TSA agent out there.

See also Safe Crackers (Thieves). Unfortunately Playmobil Police Station with Jail Cell has no customer reviews … yet.

All in Good Fun

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There were a few press-release pictures that went along with the ribbon-cutting ceremony I mentioned a few weeks back. Here’s one that was used in an announcement, and I can’t help imagining an alternate caption for the picture.

VP is armed

Something along the lines of VP restrained while attacking crowd with giant scissors

That’s the new building in the background (No, it’s not an Olive Garden), and the clock on the left-hand side of the ribbon is a cesium-beam atomic clock, running on battery.

A Christmas Story

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A few years back there was an email at work announcing a winter holiday door decorating contest. I took this as carte blanche to put up my Christmas cartoons, some of which I wouldn’t have otherwise put on public display. My theme was “A not very Norman Rockwell Christmas”

There was no contest the next year.

The year following, the contest resumed, but the contest rules included the phrase “Must be in good taste.” I refer to this as the “Tom clause.”

Cartoons below the fold.
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Redactovision

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CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

According to the report, sections of the documents— “almost invariably the most crucial passages”—are marred by an indelible black ink that renders the lines impossible to read, due to a top-secret highlighting policy that began at the agency’s inception in 1947.

CIA Director Porter Goss has ordered further internal investigation.

“Why did it go on for this long, and this far?” said Goss in a press conference called shortly after the report’s release. “I’m as frustrated as anyone. You can’t read a single thing that’s been highlighted. Had I been there to advise [former CIA director] Allen Dulles, I would have suggested the traditional yellow color—or pink.”

Goss added: “There was probably some really, really important information in these documents.”