Category Archives: Humor

Important Physics Public Service Announcement

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Ten things to do In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson

6. If the Higgs boson begins creating mass in your esophagus or stomach before you reach a hospital, you will need to perform an immediate bosonectomy on yourself. Luckily, surgical knowledge is not necessary. Just choose from the array of probable outcomes that will manifest themselves upon your decision to perform surgery, and make the one most favourable to yourself into reality. Be sensible—do not wait for the outcome in which you successfully remove the boson and win the lottery and grow wings.

Bosonectomies aren’t nearly as complicated as the corresponding operation, a Fermiplasty. The Pauli exclusion principle applies to the latter, so a hospital can only treat one patient at a time.

Self Deprecation

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My blog host folks have a good sense of humor.

pfn

Pseudoscience Forums. Heh.

Last year they did a word swap. IIRC, if you wrote “science” it came out as “religion” after you posted, along with a couple of others.

More Foolishness

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Missed opportunities for other people.

A few weeks ago, there was a version of “musical towels” going on at the gym. Several people keep their towels on hangers outside their lockers, and apparently somebody forgot to bring their towel in — so they borrowed one (which is pretty gross — this is the guys’ locker room. How often do these get washed?). Then that person finished their workout and discovered that their towel was wet, so they borrowed a towel. And so on …

I thought it would be a great prank to just grab them all and soak them in the shower. But nobody took my suggestion.

And yesterday, some furniture came in for a new employee, but was delivered after he had gone home. Colleagues moved it from the loading dock to his office, but then neglected to stack the boxes to prevent access to his desk. What were they thinking?

But, Why?

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A Dialog With Sarah …

Ask a scientist “why,” and they can often go many rounds.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why is soap a surfactant?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: That is an EXCELLENT question. Soap is a surfactant because it forms water-soluble micelles that trap the otherwise insoluble dirt and oil particles.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why does soap form micelles?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: Soap molecules are long chains with a polar, hydrophilic head and a non-polar, hydrophobic tail. Can you say ‘hydrophilic’?

SARAH: Aidrofawwic

via

The the Impotence of Proofreading

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Probably NSFW

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Complete transcript

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.

Of course its impotent to note that four proofreading two bee effective in catching substitution errors, you have too actually know that you’ve used the wrong word, you looser.