BREAKING: Popeye Admits To Spinach Use
“I wish I had never touched spinach,” Popeye said in a statement. “It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never sailed during the spinach era.”
Popeye also used broccoli, a person close to Popeye said, speaking on condition of anonymity because Popeye didn’t include that detail in his statement.
If the other allegations are true, this certainly explains the Tasmanian Devil’s ‘roid rage episodes.
And by that I don’t mean Manny Ramirez.
How Does an Outfielder Know Where to Run for a Fly Ball?
To test three theories that might explain an outfielder’s ability to catch a fly ball, researcher Philip Fink, PhD, from Massey University in New Zealand and Patrick Foo, PhD, from the University of North Carolina at Ashville programmed Brown University’s virtual reality lab, the VENLab, to produce realistic balls and simulate catches. The team then lobbed virtual fly balls to a dozen experienced ball players.
But I’d watch wrestling like this
Report: Exemptions benefit athletes
An Associated Press review of admissions data submitted to the NCAA by most of the 120 schools in college football’s top tier shows that athletes enjoy strikingly better odds of having admission requirements bent on their behalf.
Wow. Really?
House panel passes college football playoff bill
Good god, we still don’t have a budget, and congress is futzing around with this? The budget is your JOB. Continuing resolutions SUCK for the people who have to live under them. It impedes work.
“We can walk across the street and chew gum at the same time,” said the subcommittee chairman, Illinois Democrat Bobby Rush, one of the bill’s co-sponsors. “We can do a number of things at the same time.”
Apparently not. Did I mention how we still don’t have a budget? It’s December, and that was supposed to be done by the end of September!
If you must do something football-related, revoke the NFL anti-trust exemption. I’m tired of being forced to watch the Redskins and having good alternatives blacked out.
The Onion: Eagles Settle For Field Goal After 260-Yard Drive
“It’s disappointing not to score a touchdown when you keep a drive alive for more than three and a half quarters,” said quarterback Donovan McNabb, who completed 32 of his 66 passes, converted 26 first downs, and was carted off the field for X-rays twice during the drive.
Patriots Lead Colts At Halftime
The Colts offense, however, with Manning’s young receiving corps, has committed several significant errors. But the Indianapolis defense has fared even worse, and has only been able to stop pass plays of four yards or fewer, an insignificant advantage that a seasoned coach like Belichick will find easy to avoid.
“We have to do a better job in the second half, there’s no question about that,” Manning said while heading to the tunnel. “Problem is, the Pats simply never, ever, ever hand the game to you. You have to earn it. If we sit back and wait for them to screw up, we’re sunk, plain and simple.”
Report: Yankees Trademarked ‘Yankees Suck’ Chant In 1996
U.S. Patent and Trademark Office records show that every time an individual chants, shouts, or writes the words “Yankees suck,” the New York Yankees organization earns at least $2.15, an amount that escalates depending on repetition, volume, and whether the phrase was used during a national broadcast”>U.S. Patent and Trademark Office records show that every time an individual chants, shouts, or writes the words “Yankees suck,” the New York Yankees organization earns at least $2.15, an amount that escalates depending on repetition, volume, and whether the phrase was used during a national broadcast
Penalty! Unnecessary Blandness! Redesigning the Worst NFL Helmet Graphics
The author redesigns the helmets of the Redskins, Buccaneers and Patriots.
Missed Kicks Make Brain See Smaller Goal Post
The researchers used a small, adjustable replica of a goal post to test players’ perception before and after attempting 10 kicks. While standing in front of the real-life goal, participants were asked to adjust the width and height of the model to scale.
The players’ pre-performance estimations didn’t correlate at all with their subsequent success rate. But after 10 field goal attempts, their perceived goal size was highly correlated with peformance.
Interestingly, the change in players’ perception didn’t just depend on how many goals they missed — it also mattered how they missed their goals. Folks who failed because they didn’t kick high enough perceived the crossbar to be taller, while those who kicked to the side viewed it as more narrow.
The New Yorker: Offensive Play
Scary, scary discussion of concussions and chronic brain trauma, cast in the context of the brutality of Michael Vick’s dogfighting conviction/suspension.
[L]ate last month the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research released the findings of an N.F.L.-funded phone survey of just over a thousand randomly selected retired N.F.L. players—all of whom had played in the league for at least three seasons. Self-reported studies are notoriously unreliable instruments, but, even so, the results were alarming. Of those players who were older than fifty, 6.1 per cent reported that they had received a diagnosis of “dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, or other memory-related disease.” That’s five times higher than the national average for that age group. For players between the ages of thirty and forty-nine, the reported rate was nineteen times the national average.