Moment of Clarity at Abstruse Goose
Daily Archives: December 23, 2008
Forecast and Stuff
Expect scattered posts to continue for the next two weeks. I’m off to the Great White North-of-the-Pennsylvania-Border.
My recent blogging has been light; I’m in my fantasy football league Superbowl for the first time, and these players require constant monitoring. (Two weeks ago I was way behind and implored my defense (Cardinals): rather than give up a score and increase my deficit, they should get a turnover and run it back for a TD. Which they did, just a minute later. See?)
A Christmas Story
A few years back there was an email at work announcing a winter holiday door decorating contest. I took this as carte blanche to put up my Christmas cartoons, some of which I wouldn’t have otherwise put on public display. My theme was “A not very Norman Rockwell Christmas”
There was no contest the next year.
The year following, the contest resumed, but the contest rules included the phrase “Must be in good taste.” I refer to this as the “Tom clause.”
Cartoons below the fold.
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Inspiring Elemental Awe
The Periodic Table of Awesoments
In the 300 B.C., years before the birth of black Jesus, Aristole postulated that all good things were made of “win.” That was a pretty good guess, but he was drunk and probably also having an orgy. Modern day awesominers know there are actually 118 fundamental “awesoments” that compose all good things. The Periodic table of Awesoments can be a very useful tool. It’s designed to show the relationships between awesoments, and often one can even predict how awesoments interact simply by their positions on the table.
I’m not sure of some of the logic behind all of this.
Beer, at Z=6, holds the carbon place, which means it forms strong bonds with a lot of things. That’s good. Cheese is at Z=8. The equivalent of an oxidation reaction of awesomeness is to add cheese to it, which is … disgusting, actually. Vertical relations are not always apparent. Do the Noble Races not bond with anything else? Ramen is awesome?
I approve of the choice of Mf for Samuel L Jackson (what happens when you mix Mf with CbJf?), and the choices do seem more reactive as you move down the column. But is Bacon an awesomeness equivalent of Hydrogen? Does bacon form special awesomeness-bonds? Unless it’s Kevin Bacon, with that whole six-degrees thing.