The Periodic Table of Awesoments

In the 300 B.C., years before the birth of black Jesus, Aristole postulated that all good things were made of “win.” That was a pretty good guess, but he was drunk and probably also having an orgy. Modern day awesominers know there are actually 118 fundamental “awesoments” that compose all good things. The Periodic table of Awesoments can be a very useful tool. It’s designed to show the relationships between awesoments, and often one can even predict how awesoments interact simply by their positions on the table.

I’m not sure of some of the logic behind all of this.

Beer, at Z=6, holds the carbon place, which means it forms strong bonds with a lot of things. That’s good. Cheese is at Z=8. The equivalent of an oxidation reaction of awesomeness is to add cheese to it, which is … disgusting, actually. Vertical relations are not always apparent. Do the Noble Races not bond with anything else? Ramen is awesome?

I approve of the choice of Mf for Samuel L Jackson (what happens when you mix Mf with CbJf?), and the choices do seem more reactive as you move down the column. But is Bacon an awesomeness equivalent of Hydrogen? Does bacon form special awesomeness-bonds? Unless it’s Kevin Bacon, with that whole six-degrees thing.