Monthly Archives: November 2009

This Just In

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The Onion: Eagles Settle For Field Goal After 260-Yard Drive

“It’s disappointing not to score a touchdown when you keep a drive alive for more than three and a half quarters,” said quarterback Donovan McNabb, who completed 32 of his 66 passes, converted 26 first downs, and was carted off the field for X-rays twice during the drive.

Patriots Lead Colts At Halftime

The Colts offense, however, with Manning’s young receiving corps, has committed several significant errors. But the Indianapolis defense has fared even worse, and has only been able to stop pass plays of four yards or fewer, an insignificant advantage that a seasoned coach like Belichick will find easy to avoid.

“We have to do a better job in the second half, there’s no question about that,” Manning said while heading to the tunnel. “Problem is, the Pats simply never, ever, ever hand the game to you. You have to earn it. If we sit back and wait for them to screw up, we’re sunk, plain and simple.”

If You Don't Know, I'm not Going to Tell You

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Annoy and upset in ten (expensive) moves

Sex
Once you’re having carnal relations with someone it’s a fair assumption that you already approve of each other to a high degree. Don’t let that fool you into believing there is no room left for upset. There is a little known companion volume to the Karma Sutra which lists the 1001 ways you can upset someone in bed. The use of the adjectives ‘small’ or ‘quick’ or ‘disappointing’ are almost guaranteed to cause offence especially when all used together. As quite a lot of sex tends to be small and quick and disappointing the best way to avoid upset is to use the phrase ‘that took me to somewhere I’ve never been before’ without of course being specific about the exact place and whether or not it was worth visiting.

Naked Photons

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Some laser porn at Built on Facts. Seeing Laser Beams

This is used to pump an infrared ultrashort-pulse laser with a repetition rate of 1 kHz. This can itself be focused to a point in the air, which becomes visible as a little stationary spark as the intense beam ionizes the air. This produces a 1 kHz buzz which can easily be heard by the unassisted ear.

That’s the atomic physics version of geek seduction.

Look! It's Forensic Reconstruction Man!

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Ironic Sans: Forensic Reconstruction of Famous Skulls of Fiction

I recently saw an amazing example of forensic reconstruction. A skull had been found, but police were unable to figure out the person’s identity. So a forensic artist examined the skull and created an illustration of what the person may have looked like while alive. When the person was finally identified, photos of the person looked strikingly similar to the artist’s rendition.

This got me thinking: What would a forensic reconstructionist make of some famous skulls of fiction? There are characters in film, television, and video games who we’ve only ever seen as talking skulls. Surely they couldn’t have grown to adult size without once being flesh and blood, right? So what did they look like?

Tiltonomics

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The Economics of Pinball

The economics of pinball at its peak, when it took advantage of programmable electronics that would shortly be its downfall.

In 1980, pinball went digital, multi-ball, and multi-media starting with the game Black Knight. Black Knight brought pinball to a new level, literally speaking because it was among the first games with ramps and elevated flippers, but even more importantly because it brought a new challenge that drew in and solidified a pinball crowd. In doing so it also set the pinball market on a path that would eventually lead to its demise.

I remember Black Knight, and reading a story about how it was developed. The voice synthesizer programming had to be tweaked to make the “s” harder, because “I will slay you” was sounding more like an uncomfortable proposition than a challenge. But even then video games were already beginning to displace pinball machines.