Monthly Archives: December 2011

Gone Bananas

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Spaces of Banana Control

In addition to precise temperature control, the ripening process also depends on atmospheric design. Over a 24-hour period, each roomful of bananas is gassed with ethylene, a plant hormone that accelerates ripening (and is also, curiously, the most produced organic compound in the world).

I learned about the role of ethylene a few years back, after wanting to ripen some bananas quickly and being told that putting them in a paper bag would do the trick. I did a test with one banana in the bag and one outside as a control, and the one in the bag did indeed ripen faster. And the internet told me that it was the ethylene that did the ripening, which is why “one bad apple ruins the lot” — as fruit like bananas and apples ripen, they give off ethylene, and that accelerates through the process, so one ripe piece cause the others to ripen pretty quickly. The paper bag concentrates the gas relative to it being out in the open and causes more ripening. Curiously, a plastic bag did not work — this could be because humidity inhibits ripening, and it’s possible the permeability of the paper bag allows water vapor to escape but still retain some ethylene to do its magic chemistry.

Pay No Attention to the Eye in the Sky

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The Footage the NFL Won’t Show You

Without the expanded frame, fans often have no idea why many plays turn out the way they do, or if the TV analysts are giving them correct information. On a recent Sunday, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Alex Smith threw a deep pass to tight end Delanie Walker for a 26-yard touchdown. Daryl Johnston, the Fox color man working the game, said Smith’s throw was “placed perfectly” and that Tampa Bay Buccaneers safety Corey Lynch was “a little bit late getting there.”

Greg Cosell, producer of the ESPN program “NFL Matchup,” who is one of the few people with access to All-22 footage, said the 49ers had purposely overloaded the right side of the field so each receiver would only be covered by one defender. Lynch, the safety, wasn’t late getting there, Cosell says. He was doing his job and covering somebody else. Johnston could not be reached for comment.

I don’t need All-22 to know that announcers are talking crap. Just hearing them say, “Let’s see if they were drawn offsides” is enough to do that — false start penalties kill the play. If there’s no whistle, there’s no false start, and they should know this. What I suspect is that one would immediately know the slew of “He ran the pattern too short” comments, heard when a player runs an underneath route (e.g. 8 yard pattern on 3rd-and-10) would be shown to be crap as well. The film would likely show that a deeper route would have been covered, and the only way to be open was to run underneath. Sometimes you have to break a tackle or make a man miss.

As for the possibility of more criticism of coaches and players, I don’t care. Rumor has it that they’re adults. Maybe the fans will understand that part of the plan is to fake the other side out and appreciate the nuances of trying to dictate your opponent’s response tactics.

Some Skin in the Game

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On neutrinos and nanoseconds: Physicists partner with professional timekeeper

In his job, Matsakis keeps the official time for the United States and the U.S. Department of Defense and, together with the National Institute of Standards and Technology, keeps the official time for the United States. This involves maintaining more than 100 atomic clocks and GPS systems calibrated to within one nanosecond of each other – not a simple task.

We had a nice seminar on what MINOS does and neutrino oscillations recently, as we kicked off this collaboration.

The Best Defense is a Good Offense

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The Great Global Warming Fizzle

As with religion, its claims are often non-falsifiable, hence the convenience of the term “climate change” when thermometers don’t oblige the expected trend lines. As with religion, it is harsh toward skeptics, heretics and other “deniers.” And as with religion, it is susceptible to the earthly temptations of money, power, politics, arrogance and deceit.

Any time science gets compared to religion it just, as Dean Keaton might say, makes me tired all over. It’s where you go when you can’t actually discuss science, because you have nothing.

I Knew You Could, I Knew You Could

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You Too Can Be a Snake Oil Salesman

For “magic bracelet” type products it’s even easier. Your product essentially works by magic, so just throw out a bunch of technobabble that doesn’t mean anything. Keep up with the latest buzzwords for maximal effectiveness, but here are some suggestions: “Balances your energy frequencies,” “Quantum whatever,” “Works on the nano cellular level, “Resonates with your connecticazoit.” Make sure to include at least one reference to “quantum” or “energy” and you’re good.

One tip that’s not spelled out completely is that testimonials generally make no causal claim. “I use this and I’ve never felt better” or “after using this, my pain went away” doesn’t actually mean the product has anything to do with the end results. But it’s easy to get people to fall for post hoc, ergo propter hoc — happened after, therefore was caused by. (Hey, nuclear weapons weren’t invented until after women got the right to vote. Just sayin’.)

It Worked the First Time

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“Climategate” Redux: Conservative Media Distort Hacked Emails … Again

Anonymous hackers recently released another batch of emails taken from a climate research group at the University of East Anglia in 2009, along with a document containing numbered excerpts of purportedly incriminating material. Many of these selections have been cropped in a way that completely distorts their meaning, but they were nonetheless repeated by conservative media outlets who believe climate change is a “hoax” and a “conspiracy.”