I’ve been trying to catch up ever since going to a conference a few weeks ago. Somehow, the work didn’t know to stop piling up while I was away, and I’ve been getting new things to do faster than I can finish the old things. Printers dying, tape drives dying, things inside the lab needing attention, and my cross-section for attracting work enhanced by the absence of my boss. So I haven’t had time to over my notes from the conference.

So, then, a word on conferences in general. Conferences, if any good, are work. I know there’s a notion amongst some (especially those who must authorize the travel) that conferences are like a vacation, off at an exotic location, and it’s all fun in the sun or on the slopes. And while that does happen to an extent, in my experience that behavior is in the minority of attendees. It may be different for a Moose Lodge Jamboree, but my observations are of physicists and their ilk.

First of all, the so-called exotic locations. Conferences have to be held where there are conference facilities, and that pretty much limits you to larger cities and universities or resorts off-season. And while the beancounters would love for the event to be held near to where you live, that only works if you expect local people to attend. If you want to attract scientists from around the country or around the world (depending on specifics of the conference) then somebody has to travel. And traveling, especially air travel in this day and age, is a pain. There may be some who enjoy it, but not me — it tires me out.

Conferences are held in places like Las Vegas, for example, because hotels there are relatively cheap, not because it’s a great vacation spot. They hotels/casinos do that because they hope it brings in business after the day is done, though there’s a rumor that Vegas doesn’t like physicists (and, I would assume, mathematicians) because they understand odds and many prefer to spend their free time scribbling on napkins and don’t tend to gamble so much.

OK. You’re tired from travel and any time-zone-shift issues, but that’s just the start. It takes a lot of energy to be alert and attentive for six hours of talks, and all the discussions that happen in between. Some of the best information I’ve gotten has been in the hallways by skipping a session and getting the details from someone personally. Talks and papers are limited in extent and generally skip some important details, such as all of the things that didn’t work in trying the experiment, or discussion of what’s really hard. And people don’t like to air dirty laundry so much in public, but in a (semi)private conversation they tend to be a little more forthcoming. Especially from people that you know from previous information exchanges.

Another item related to this misguided “conferences are a luxury” attitude is that it’s getting harder to justify travel. The conference list had about 110 names on it. There were 50 oral sessions and 40 posters were scheduled (a few were withdrawn, and there were a few instances of a presenter also giving a poster, but that’s still a pretty small fraction of people who were just attending. That can be a real problem for some conference organizers, who sweat out getting enough attendees at the conference hotel to fill their room block and get the discount so that the conference doesn’t lose money.