Tag Archives: Physics humor

Why is This Class Necessary?

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Do Pre-Meds Really Need That Year of Organic Chemistry?

Feel free to replace this, mentally, with physics, and it can be applied to other endeavors. But here’s a joke that was posted on this topic at slashdot (which I found via another conduit)

A college physics professor was explaining a concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” he blurted out.

“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “Wait– how does physics save lives?”

The professor responded. “By keeping idiots out of medical school.”

The God-Particles Must Be Angry

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Delays at CERN because of a magnet quench, requiring repairs. But you already knew that.

What you may not have heard:

There could be further delays because helium has also escaped into the LHC’s tunnel, and there were unconfirmed reports that the vacuum had been lost in part of the beam pipe in which protons circulate.

So, the folks searching for that lost vacuum are going to have high, squeaky voices.

Faulty Transformer was a Ruse — the Real LHC Update

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Large Hadron Collider spitting out lost socks

“It started on Tuesday, when a single white gym sock was found inside the collider,” said Dr Thomas Engelson. “At first, we thought it was a prank or something left behind by one of the construction workers. We removed it, and, following our next high-energy collision, the accelerator was found to have filled with more than one hundred thousand socks. They had popped out of all the tiny black holes the collider produces.”

Immediately following their appearance, the socks were warm to the touch. Engelson said that it was probably the result of the energy dispelled at being burped from the black holes, but scientists are investigating the possibility that they have come straight from people’s tumble dryers.

“They were also full of static,” said Engelson. “It is absolutely conceivable that the socks have been transported directly from tumble dryers, via some undiscovered, invisible vortex created by the heat, static and repetitive circular motion of a tumble dryer.” The only thing confusing this theory is that the fibres on some analysed socks date back to the early 1900’s, a few years after the clothes dryer was invented.