Your math teacher, Darth Vader. (Boy, is he strict!)
The ability to calculate the length of the hypotenuse is insignificant next to the power of the force.
I have to add — I would have noted that Vader’s board skills leave something to be desired, but he might have found my lack of faith to be disturbing.
Papercraft toys.
Most of the Cubeecraft designs have interchangable parts! Do you think the Rocketeer should be wearing Master Chiefs helmet instead? Go for it. Do you think Mr.Stay Puft should trade in his kerchief for a suit? Switch out his body for Mr.Dtoids!
via Neatorama
I know water polo is a taxing sport, and it’s great that the US took a silver. But watching the players walk along side the pool, I couldn’t help but thinking their headgear looked like baby bonnets, and that they looked like giant infants.
Phone conversation overheard in Hell’s IT department:
Sir, I have to get you to change your password to comply with the new protocols.
It’s to keep our servers safe, sir. We’re at risk. There are a lot of hackers out there.
Well, yes, sir, many of them are hellraisers, and ultimately that’s a good thing, but we were pwned last week and a religious inspirational page was up instead of ours.
It’s computer jargon, sir, never mind. This is about your password.
Sir, we have a great firewall but I’m afraid it’s not good enough anymore.
No, sir, more brimstone won’t help. It’s the internet sir — there are too many savvy hackers out there, and we have to stay ahead of the curve.
Yes, having Al Gore help start it and then look foolish for claiming to have invented it was genius. So was getting him to champion global warming so that lots of people could deny it. But your password sir. It needs to be changed. At least eight characters, with capitals, numbers and symbols.
I know 666 is your number, sir. Everybody knows. That’s the problem.
Yes, eight characters. And to give you a horns up, fifteen characters is coming as soon as we upgrade the server software. And you’ll have to change it every 60 days. Can’t use words in the dictionary. Also, even though I know you will, I must tell you not to write it down.
No, sir, writing it in blood still counts.
I won’t argue with that, sir. It’s a pain in everyone’s rear. But if it’s any consolation, these policies are being adopted topside, so if it’s any consolation, you can say they are using the security measures from hell.
Yes, sir, I know “alphanumeric of the beast” doesn’t have the same ring to it. Maybe PR can help you with that sir. Goodbye, sir.
How many ounces in a proverbial?
If you stress glass in that way, it does tend to make it more susceptible to breaking.
ARES — Perseverance is your word today. You will not become frustrated at your continued inability to separate quarks from each other.
TAURUS — You will suspect that the force pushing you away from the center of a circle is in fact a figment of your imagination, and would not be there if you were to analyze your motion in an inertial reference frame.
GEMINI — Don’t let your curiosity get the better of you. Checking which path the particles are taking will destroy the interference pattern of that double-slit experiment, and you will be found out.
CANCER — The positions of the stars and planets will have no effect on your daily existence.
LEO — All around you, elementary particles and antiparticles will pop into existence and then wink out, but you will remain calm and blissfully unaware of them.
VIRGO — Weigh your choices carefully: your decision to flap your arms or not will affect the weather far away. Breaking that high-level encryption will be easier once you finish that quantum computer you’ve been working on.
LIBRA — Despite your best efforts, you will increase entropy when converting thermal energy to mechanical work. You will strive to conserve energy, and succeed.
SCORPIO — You are a cold-blooded mass-murderer and “Dirty Harry” Callahan will make sure you get what’s coming to you. The number “five” figures prominently in your day.
SAGITTARIUS — You will be unable to simultaneously determine the position and momentum of any objects today, nor place two fermions in the same quantum state. Not a good time to start a new relationship with another spin 1/2 particle.
CAPRICORN — Ennui sets in: you continue to be affected by the same physics, unchanged, no matter which inertial reference frame you find yourself in.
AQUARIUS — Despite your best attempt to be in two places at once, quantum superposition eludes your grasp, partly because the creep in accounting keeps trying to “measure” you.
PISCES — You notice that your buoyancy is equal to the weight of water that you displace. Resist the urge to announce this fact overzealously.
I’m allergic to most cats, and especially sensitive to the behavior near the end of the clip.
via Wanderings
If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear, then you ARE! Crash Davis
“Making a list of superstitions / foolish consistencies / lightweight OCD behaviors e.g. I always put my RIGHT shoe on first. You?”
[…]
“In what order shall I put my gear on? What is practical? What feels right? You know, I like putting my right skate on first. I can’t tell you why, but the order feels important. Right skate, then left.”We killed them. 9-3. Sure, they started by playing half their game because they were already in the playoffs, but after I scored that hat trick in the first period, they woke up. We slapped them around for another two periods. It was glorious.
I credit the skates. No, I credit the skate application process.
It’s that story that goes through my head each morning as I stare down. I remember deciding to care about how I put things on my feet. It’s a silly superstitious quirk transformed into an unavoidable daily routine and that’s why I twittered it. I wanted to know who else was saddled with these foolish consistencies.
There seems to be a strong tie between superstition “ritual” and sports.
I have a mild OCD about the iron. I almost always double-check that it’s off and unplugged before going out, because it’s one of those mindless “routine” things that you’ll falsely remember doing. Even if you didn’t do it today, you might paste in the memory of any of the other hundreds of times you’ve done it. (And by “you” I mean “I”)
I don’t think things like “wiring the + wire to the + lead and — to —” or “don’t lick the high-voltage connection” count as superstition.
I’ve known women who had to sleep on a particular side of the bed, so any impulse I might have had for this OCD has vanished — it’s not a battle worth fighting. (You’re in bed with her. Wrong time and place to pick a fight.)
Several weeks back, I was lamenting bad advertising music. There seem to be lots of companies who have the ad-music decisions being made by a 45-55 year-old who chooses a favorite tune from their youth but didn’t have great taste in music, (or a 20-something staffer who can Google on what was high on the charts when the ad exec was in his or her 20s.) A recent incarnation was the Honda ad to the tune of ELO’s “Hold on Tight.” Contrast that with Apple ads often using something very recent (“Shut Up and Let Me Go” by The Ting Tings was running at that time)
I don’t think they quite understand the backlash of choosing the wrong tune. Is your automobile target audience really that old? To me, it’s one of those songs that I liked back in the day, but that was partly because if you hear something over ad over again, you begin to like it, or at least tolerate it. But 25+ years later, I’m content to hear it every couple of months, but if I’m bombarded with it all over again I’m really going to start to loathe it, and whatever product is being associated with it.
That discussion morphed from songs you only need to hear every so often, to songs you never need to hear again, which provoked the response, “Muskrat Love” by the Captain and Tennille. So I got to thinking, what bad songs do I listen to that I would be reluctant to admit to having on a playlist on my iPod or computer?
Lo and behold, I find myself beaten to the punch. And I find it funny that the first two songs on Janet’s list are two to which I listen, and were not available on iTunes for some time — I kept checking for them, and they are on my workout rotation.
The trashiest (IMO) stuff on my five-star playlist is the bubble-gum-type music from the 60s.
“Little Bit of Soul” by Music Explosion
“Jelly Jungle (of Orange Marmalade)” by the Lemon Pipers
“Dizzy” and “Sweet Pea” by Tommy Roe
“I Saw Linda Yesterday” Dickey Lee
All get significant playing time.